Those Moments that Made my Year

For the Carthorse and friends, 2013 has been quite a year of running. This year has seen many of us in my training group significantly improve. Personally, my season was probably summed up by three outstanding races in July (Mile), August (5000m) and September (HM), each better than the last. But that hasn't been complete story of this year which has just been made up of moments of hilarity, unbelievable happenings and fun. Now seems like the opportune time to recap some of my favourite moments. In chronological order of course. 

10^th April, Villamoura, Portugal:

Villamoura was a fantastic two week 'holiday' with friends in the sun at a time when the UK was still getting snow. It was great training aboard, although some of the routes got a little repetitive.  This Wednesday, I remember Nick 'Nandos' Howard showing me the beach cliff trail route for the first time. The weather was amazing, there were fantastic views of the ocean, and the steep trails were a real breathe of fresh air.  I ran that same route later that day too.

18^th May, Yate:

Summer had arrived in force and it was the first of four Track & Field League fixtures. We were pushing for promotion this season, but unfortunately we had a depleted team, meaning we were all doubling, or tripling up in the events. By the time it got to the 4x400 relay, the last event, we had only a disparate crew of exhausted distance runners left able to run.

I volunteered to go first leg as I had prior experience of holding a baton. The start line was hilarious; amongst five serious teams in blocks, I took a standing-start position and had only managed a single step by the time my competitors had sprung away and managed three….I was 50 metres behind by 100m. Dan, with a 1500m and a 5000m in his legs, finished the third leg just ahead of the leaders completing the event. This ensured we didn’t get lapped, meaning Ed, the anchor, was so jubilant that he performed a double Mobot as he eventually crossed the line.

25^th May, Leicestershire & Warwickshire joint County Champs finish line, Leicester. 

Having narrowly missed it in Yate the week before, it was widely known that I was attempting to run my maiden sub-16 minute 5000m. After one of the most physically painful races I can remember, I crossed the line, collapsing almost immediately to all fours, unable to move or do anything but hope the lactate would clear.

'What did you do?' would have been a polite way for a recovered-Ed to have enquired as to my result. But probably not convinced I would’ve been able to respond, he instead simply grabbed my watch arm from where it lay limp on the floor and pulled to his eye level. I subsequently found out I’d come second in the county, but recalling Ed's violation of my watch/arm is what I smile about when I remember that day. 

June 23^rd, My bed. 

In June, Dan was the athlete in form. The previous day had been the Midland 5000m champs which has been a disaster. The conditions were miserable, and even though Dan and Ed had PB-ed, no one was over the moon about it. 

In uncustomary fashion we hit the town to drown our sorrows, and after stumbling in at 4am, I managed to drag myself around an ‘easy’ 90 mins with Ed, in a massive struggle of hangover and sore legs. 

Dan, in contrast it turned out, had used his hangover to positive effect. I got a phone call as I lay in bed post-run trying to recover. He had somehow gone out and done a 9 mile race, finishing third in an unbelievably quick time. I do not know how, only that I could not have done that. 

July 20^th, Iffley Road track, 15 metres from the line.

The opportunity to run at the famous Roger Bannister track in Oxford was too much to pass on, even though I didn't consider myself to be in good shape to race a Mile. Dan and Mark were in the heat before mine and both ran 4:40. Not a chance I thought.

Somehow I found myself still in it coming down the final 100m, and with my friends ecstatic with jubilation on the sidelines, my legs beginning to burn, bend and wobble, I was starting intently at the finish clock which was slowly ticking up, and not getting any closer.

The winner crossed the line two seconds ahead of me, stopping the clock, but fifteen metres away I was so out of it I didn’t really absorb this. I just remember thinking I has managed to stop time, and that I'd now exist forever in a sea of painful purgatory at 4:32.

This mile was probably my breakthrough race this season, and my 1500m split probably a good 6 or 7 seconds faster than a race over the same distance just four days earlier. 

24^th August, Coventry University track finish line:

Coventry BMC 5000m was the ultimate of races. Paced by super-metronomic Ed Banks, it featured four of my other friends and training partners. I crossed the line just three seconds behind Dan, and I'll never forget the scenes that subsequently unfolded....

As I crossed the line, Dan had had just enough time to release the enormity of what he'd done, and turn around, with a shocked look on his face. I simply ran straight into an embrace, and turned around to see my friend Sarah cross the line inside her PB too. Lying around on the floor and self-congratulations initially got in the way of knowing what anyone else had done, but I then spotted Mark 10 metres away. He was frozen still, a massive smile on his face, arms stretched out wide and his body language said 'just ask me' all over it. He’d taken over 20 seconds off a 20 year old PB, breaking the 16-minute barrier which he’d given up on long ago. What a hero. It's rare that everyone you go to a race with has a screamer. On that day myself, Dan, Mark, Sarah and Chris all smashed it. And Ed's contribution was a massive part of that. Those scenes may never be repeated again.

The Circle of Life

World media has been surprisingly slow on the uptake of Coventry BMC 5000m which occurred two saturdays ago, at a back-to-front - albeit it blue - track hidden away at Coventry University which drew monster crowds of former Sheffield University Athletes.

However the race, in which the highest placed finisher worth mentioning finished in a position which would rank him a toasty 340 in the National Rankings for the year, has generated a disproportional amount of column inches, with two blogs and a website article amassing almost double figures of interest between them.

Dan Robinson, who was said highest finisher, was in pole position coming in to the final kilometre, having been accidentally tucked into Ed Bank’s super tight pink racing shorts and carried round the first 10 laps.  “It was just about staying with Ed for the first four kilometres and trying to remember how many laps the race was.  I knew that Carter was on my shoulder the entire time because I could hear him panting like a Horse.”

Carter, who we have been able to confirm was also in the race, offered “I wasn’t really enjoying myself.  I knew we were going for curry afterwards, and I was getting quite hungry deciding if I could manage a whole naan myself.  I spent the first three laps deciding the best way to drop out, and whether I would need to feign tripping over in order to make it look legit.”

After reaching four kilometres in a highly symmetrical 12:40, the 3 minute and 3 second race to the line was won by Robinson in 2:59, to which Carter was incensed.  “Robinson pulled away in the final two and a half laps.  I’d already planned that we would cross the line together holding hands, but when he did that all I had left was to beat the Irish International runner.  Sarah Mac afterwards stated that her favourite laps had been “2, 5, 6, 8 and 11,” and that she was “no longer talking to Tim” because of his 450m sprint for the line.  “Where I come from [of which no one is sure], friends don’t beat friends.”

Veteran38 Mark Ince overcame a severe bout of ageing which has been afflicting him for the past 10 years, and was in the race the entire way, with only a wrong turn on the 10th lap letting him down.  He came in as the 5th Significant Person, in 3:11, just behind Chris (also 3:11).  Mark was giddy after breaking a PB that has stood for 20 years, back from his student days where he claims to have run 1:39 and 3:25 for the middle distance events.  He was reportedly “very giddy” the whole way back as he snacked on Haribo Sourmix.

BBC token pundit Denise Lewis has been quick to offer some expert insight into what might have caused this spectacle of super-human feats on this late summer evening: “The thing about the 5000m is, that it is 5000m long.”  The BBC are hopeful of not renewing her contract.

2013 looms

It has been a positive Christmas in the Carthorse camp.  News of a new sponsorship deal to rival Sarah Mac’s Inavo Eight contract came in just day’s before the holiday, in the form a text message from Mother, who offered cooked meals all Christmas in exchange for keeping my bedroom tidy and my bed made. 

Seemingly spitefully however, my fell shoes by the afore mentioned manufacturer had other ideas, slicing a layer of skin clean off the back of my heel on day two of the holiday.  Ten days have now passed and this latest injury now resembles a gouge out of my foot, making requests by Malcolm to make the 10 minute limp to the postbox cause for anquish.

Meanwhile I am fully prepared for this weekend’s Warwickshire County Champs (XC), despite my girly injury scare, and fresh from record 341 man-minutes of labour to remove the spikes from the footwear from last time out. 

In other news, tales of my double-December PBs has clearly spread, with fan tribute video[s] now starting to emerge on the internet.  Teenage running sensation Emilia Gorecka used the term “fantastic” on her website while Steven Bayton replacement training partner Dan Robinson has not been seen since it went viral.

The Tale of a Mountain Goat

Sarah Mac (not to be confused with retired Javelin thrower Sarah Snack) became a household name on Saturday after winning the Bedford BMC Grand Prix on a windy and wet night, in which I ate her post-race dinner while she slogged it out over 12 ½ laps.

Making her August debut at her favourite distance, the student of soil who plys her trade north of the Scottish border executed the perfect race against Birmingham University’s fun-sized BUCS XC winner Hannah Walker to take not only the victory, but complete more than a 90 second PBimprovement from two years ago.

Imrpovement of a champion.

If Walker harboured any real ambitions of winning this race, then she had clearly not done her research of readily availableinformation.  With 200m to go, Mac destroyed her like a tsunami charging down a family picnic on the beach, and was first to the interview with Athletics Weekly and what was left of the organiser-provided water after spectator Simon Millhouse earlier filled up his bag when no one was looking.

Founding members of the Sarah Mac fan club.

Sarah put gender equality the right way up as she recorded a time faster than any of her former Sheffield Uni training partners ever have, renewing our desire for immediate improvements to avoid possible humiliation.  "I simply can not [sic] have her faster than me," text women’s U17 long jump and 1,350 metre specialist Millhouse.  "It’s not an option, and could prove the motivation I need."  He is already said to be considering discontinuing his range of rice-based cereals to work on this beer belly.

Indeed Mac’s fitness, stamina and disgestive abilities showcased her rapid improvement as she took and ate a pair of jam sandwichs on the following morning’s long run, as she gave 16min+ runners Millhouse and Carthorse a solid workout on her recovery jog.

The mountain-goat shaped runner, who is currently preparing for this weekend’s uphill-only race to the moon, and more importantly a November showdown with her former rival (myself), described the key elements of her training to be "receiving motivational texts from my friend Tim" (also me) and keeping her railcard photo hidden from prying eyes.

We are keenly hoping that this latest high profile victory will be enough to bagsy some free kit (all contributions should be a men’s ‘medium’ and footwear size 11), and boost sales of her upcoming paperback which will be released in all good retailers this autumn.

Mac's new bestseller, released this Autumn.

Every Horse Has His Day

Sometimes everything just falls into place. 

Six months of training culminated with Heat 2 of the Men’s 5,000m, the main event, in the centre piece of the 2012 year – Populous’s £486m Olympic Stadium.  Despite being equipped with Saucony’s Fastwitch 5, costing a mere 220 grams per foot, pre-event training had been poor, but with a boost of being drawn in the same event as former rival Steven Bayton, meaning that friends and family, and the 6,000 spectators only had to pay keen attention to one 12 ½ lapper.

The 5k was an aerobically challenging experience, with the primary aim being not to be lapped by the afore-mentioned man from Halifax.  Elated by achieving this aim by circa 15 metres, I scampered to finish the final two furlongs in a hasty 67 seconds, for a concious lifetime record of 16:14.

The Final Furlong (Video by Sarah Mac, pun by Alison Camp)

The following day was a delicious slab of icing on a delicious cake.  I only ever entered the 10,000m as a back up due to BUCS controversial entry procedure, but after a pizza and video evidence review, the decision was made: “why not?”  A late night ice bath and a few hours sleep preceded the 6:20am start, to race for the second time in 18 hours.

For the first 200m, I took up my customary place at the back of the field preparing myself for a long morning, but I moved swiftly through the ambition-starters, digging deep into the faulting limbs, for what in reflection, was the most effortlessly proficient display of running, tactics and elegance the stadium had seen [that morning].

My stadium record – for the second fastest 10,000m ever ran in that venue – was personified with a Ovett-style raised arm celebration reflecting the elation at smashing my PB by 18 seconds, in an event that I hadn’t ever planned to do 24 hours earlier.  How I dragged that performance out of tired legs, I will never know. 

Even superhero Bayton was impressed, failing to follow up his magnificent 5k PB the previous day with an identikit performance.

But not to be outdone, Sarah McCormack, livid at only making it onto the number three spot on my all time favourite athletes list, performed a championship highlight, rocketing home in 34:31, a genuine stadium record, and the opportunity to urinate into a small cup in front of total strangers.  She described it as “the perfect day”, and was rewarded by just under one square inch on page 15 of last weeks Athletics Weekly.

A BUCS Gold medal.  Maybe in another lifetime for me.

Mirror Mirror on the Wall...

…who is the most inspirational of them all?

I’ve been struggling for the last week to write my career self appraisal: a four page document for the RIBA examiners basically informing them why I would make a good architect.  In pondering my inspiration, my mind wondered, and I decided to write my current top three list of my most inspirational athletes.

There were many contenders, including Ed ‘The Beard’ Banks whose phenomenal PBs make goals seem more attainable, Mark ‘Mince’ Ince, who occasionally knocks out impressive park runs despite mediocre blocks of training, and then of course Mister ‘Beast’ Canaway, who based his supernatural performances around mesocycles of bingeing.

But the short list has been narrowed down, commiserations to all those who missed out, but you probably need to up your game.  That includes you Mo.

#3: Sarah the Snack.  Sporting quadruple nationality, ah McCormack, not to be mistaken for Sarah Snack the javelin thrower, had the opportunity to run for GB, USA, Ireland or Antartica before selecting option 3.  Listed not just to avoid making the same mistake as SPOTY, Mac’s infamous bum-wobble is rumoured to have developed from carrying a gun holster around with her University of Michigan training group.  A long term rival in my university days, I always had to be at the top of my game to avoid a loss to this powerhouse and she is now once again making great strides forward, presumable motivated by catching me up.

#2: Simon Millhouse.  Citing his long term hero and sporting idol as Emile Heskey, Millett was my true genuine inspiration to actually apply myself to running.  A man who once threatened to kiss his now-girlfriend, Milton gave up our bi-weekly Roar sessions straw-pedoing orange reef in favour of married life and running up the majority of hills at xc championships.

#1: Nick Goolab.  And here you have it.  A man I’ve seen seemingly effortlessly run to BUCS XC and 5000m victories but never actually met, Goolab went through a phase of stalking me at the Birmingham Uni track (based on circumstantial evidence).  Unlike many of his peers, Goolab combined a heavy training schedule with a worthwhile degree in Mathematics, blogged about his training with a colloquial tone, including his love-hate relationship with his garmin, and chatting about easy run mile splits starting with a five as if they were no effort at all, elevating himself to the top of my list.  Sadly Goolab is rumoured to have walked away from the sport, making a martyr of himself and meaning Steve Bayton may never reach his inspirational heights…