"Season's Over"

On the day that 30,000 people took to the street of London, the amateur athletics world has been rocked by the news that Simon Millett’s “season’s over”.

The former participant at Watford Open, who last year came gut wrenchingly close to breaking 4 minutes for 1500m, is believed to have sustained a suspected torn meniscus in a late night incident involving alcohol on a recent training trip to Villamoura, Portgual.

UKA have condemned the reports, and claimed that the injury was caused during a stretching session, however sources close to the athlete have claimed the Simon had a strong urge to jump into water after hearing Gemma Steel sing karaoke.

Best friend Alex Tovey is said to be distraught, found in a side street with a bottle of wine in a paper bag earlier this afternoon.  “I don’t understand the problem, he has another knee…why should I have to run on my own all summer?”

In a further blow to Simon, Lego have announced that they will not be pursuing their planned Lego Basic ‘Millett and Friends’ series, announcing at their unscheduled press conference: “he doesn’t seem to be taking himself seriously, so why should we?”

In a positive twist, however, the powerof10 have claimed that if video evidence of the pool incident can be obtained, it will be ratified for a long jump PB, which should place him in the top 200 of the UK under-17 girls rankings.

“I knew the moment that it happened that the season was over,” said Millett.  “It’s so annoying – I was just starting to feel sexy in the bedroom again, and now this.  I’m an upbeat person though, and I’ll be using this time to work on my new range of cereal and rice products.”

 

        

 Millett’s new range of cereal and rice, modelled in his 

image, available from all good retailers.