Carthorses for Courses: April 2014

There weren’t going to be any more miles starting with a ‘5’ now. This was a survival exercise. I emerged from the long underpass in the 24^th mile a different runner from the one that entered. Going in, I was hurting, each step more painful than the last, but maintaining a respectable pace. Now, I had slowed significantly.

I glanced at my watch. Under 6:30/mile pace, but only just. There was just too long to go. My left calf - the one that I didn’t injure back in December and had been subject to less TLC over the last few months - cramped, before easing off, a pattern it enjoyed repeating.

I knew why all this was happening. It was my own fault. I had broken just about every major marathon rule in my own way today, just like a rookie. Don’t try anything in new in the days leading up to the race they say: but I had panicked when someone suggested eating more on the race morning, when after a huge bowl of pasta the night before I didn’t need to. I knew in mile 1 that all of my food hadn’t digested, and the faint stitch stayed with me for the best part of 10k. Don’t start too fast: well I didn’t. 18:04 at 5k, then 36:14 at 10k were within my goal, but when I stopped feeling like I had had an all-you-can-eat breakfast on the start line, I inadvertently sped up, led astray by runners around me. The next two blocks of 5k were both sub-18 minutes, and lead me to a novice halfway split of 76:01. I knew at that moment I had been an idiot. I knew that despite immediately backing off and settling down, I was in for a long second half.

But it disintegrated much quicker than I expected, and by 15 miles I was worried. At 16 I knew something was wrong. My legs were heavy. So heavy. I’d not experienced this before. Was it the taper? Was it the stupid early pace? It didn’t matter. I had learnt at Ashby 20 that just because I feel bad one minute, it doesn’t necessarily mean it’s permanent. But by 18 miles I was desperately searching for a familiar face in the crowd, anxious for a cheap psychological lift. 25-30k was low 18 minutes again, as was 30-35k; miraculous since I was now running effectively on my own, into a headwind and with legs which felt like they had barely a mile left in them. I wasn’t out of breath and seemed in no danger of bonking, which was my primary concern before the race, but these were mere consolations. I was genuinely worried that I was going to struggle to finish.

So here I was at 22 miles. There were runners running the other way at around 14 miles into their experience. I envied them. I was hurting, and knew that anyone who looked at my face would know my game was up. I stuffed my last gel down, threw away the packet and dug in. I knew that Ellie and my sister would be just after mile 23, on the right hand side of the road. That was what I needed right now. It was survival: one mile at a time. I added five minutes fifty to my 22-mile time, anxious to not drop pace too soon, and looked towards the next mile clock.

There it was. As the road bent around, the sanctity of the mile 23 banner approached. The clock came into focus and I starred at it unable for the life of me to remember the number I had calculated less than six minutes before. Sod it. It didn’t matter, there was still 20 minutes left, more if let it slip. I locked my eyes on the roadside, and scanned the crowd for the faces of my loved ones, one by one.

Mile 23 has a slight downhill, which maintained the illusion of keeping pace, although n reality I lost a minute over this next 5k alone. But in reflection I know that I could easily have handed back chunks more, had I not been so mentally strong and convinced of my physical strength through months of hard training. The truth is, a marathon hurts just the same whether you do it in 3:07 or in 2:37, it’s just over quicker.

The wall of noise was phenomenal along the Embankment. You could pick out all the voices encouraging you. And at this pace and point of the race, there is no one else around: they are all cheering for you. But what I wouldn’t have given for my friend and training partner Dan’s companionship right now. I hadn’t seen him since mile 14 as he sped off, clearly having a blinder. I thought about all the mental techniques I knew for getting through. Paula Radcliffe’s ‘count to 100 steps’ came to mind. So I started: ‘One…two….three…ah sod it that’s too much effort.’

Two miles to go. My calf cramped again. Then again. Then spasmed. ‘Shit,’ I thought. ‘I need my leg to finish.’ I didn’t know what to do. As I threw my left leg forward I tried to stretch my foot up. Stretching on the move: it doesn’t work, ever. My gait was all over the place. ‘Keep going.’ It was agony. Why was I doing this? ‘You can do it,’ came one voice from the crowd. ‘I don’t wanna!’ I still don’t know if I screamed this out loud, or just in my head. Possibly the former. This was agony.

As I came into mile 25 I heard a familiar voice from the crowd on the left. I wasn’t expecting anyone, but my uni friend and fellow athlete Nick ‘Nandos’ Howard was there with his camera. For some reason it seemed absolutely essential to convey to him just how I was feeling. I pulled my best grimace and shook my head. I was embarrassed to be running at 6:27 a mile right now knowing that it was my pace just before halfway that had caused this.

What seemed like only seconds later, a marshal calmly told me it was only 1k to go. ‘Really?’ I thought. I know looking back that Nick and his girlfriend Nic had saved me. They had distracted me long enough to get the final chunk of nasty distance done. 1k to go meant one thing: roughly 4 minutes left. I looked at my watch and tried to add these numbers together. I couldn’t work it out accurately enough. At 800m I knew the maths would be simpler, and very exact. I calculated it with surprising ease: there was 2:31:49 on the clock. I needed to run 3:10, and glancing at my pace I knew I wasn’t currently fast enough. I would fail.

I rallied, motivation renewed. I still wasn’t out of breath, just running with dead legs. Completely dead. No lactate, just leaden. 600m. 400m. I turned into the final straight passing a runner who had passed me not too long before. He was barely moving, but I was. 200 metres to go. According to the official stats, from 35k to the finish I passed 13 runners. I don’t remember a single other one of them apart from the guy who I piped on the line to get the last available double digit finishing place. I covered the last 800m in 2:57.

The challenge of the marathon was over for today. Dan and I had both achieved what we set out to do months ago, despite almost being derailed by a troublesome Achilles tendon before it had even started. I ran sub 2:35 and finished in the top 100 at the greatest marathon in the world. The dream day I was secretly hoping for may not have not materialised, but I am so proud of myself for the way I dug in, not just in the last 4.3 miles but in the last 8.3 when the day could have turned horrifically bad. In the end Dan only finished 16 seconds ahead of me, despite being 45 seconds clear at one point. My other training partner and friend Mark ran 2:43, a big PB, after an interrupted build up.

The challenge of the marathon was over for today, but I was about to embark on a new challenge. I tried to stay upright and keep the contents of my stomach in. I looked over at Dan being supported and walked by two marshals. Then I glanced up the monstrous walk to the friends and family collection zone, lined with endless baggage lorries. Another marathon was about to begin…

Sunday 13^th April 2014 wouldn’t have happened without many people. Everyone single person who gave me a shout out on that course, many of whom I didn’t see but did hear their voices which made so much difference. My gorgeous girlfriend Ellie who has put up with my anti-social running, injury worries, came down to support me, and found time to make Dan and I an amazing banner, despite a week of horrific on-call shifts. My sister for putting me up, my housemates Rebecca, Sarah and Cat who came to London especially to support and made me feel like a celebrity.

I want to thank Bud Baldaro for his training over the last year, which has redefined me as a runner and helped me achieve the things I always set out to do and more. And my training partners, who have made those horrible runs so much more fun.

Dan gets his own special mention, for his endless motivation which came in so many forms.

Finally I thank an old Yorkshire rival, Ben Beattie who I ran much of the second half with, before he pulled away from me and went onto clock an amazing PB for himself.

This has been such an experience, such an amazing experience. And I’ve received such support and congratulations from so many people. Thank you so much everyone.

Stats:

2:34:47.

99^th overall. (81^st in club and open race (excluding elites).)

5:54/mile average.

16 minute PB.